Member-only story
Can Rudeness Come From a Good Place?
Or Is It Still Rude?
Imagine holding the door open for a coworker — and then that coworker says something that’s rude but kind of comes from a good place. What just happened?
How would you react? Was she right to voice her concern, or should she have picked a better time and place?
The Incident
One day, I was leaving work while wearing a very nice fake fur coat. It had been my late grandmother’s coat. A relative gave it to my mother after my grandmother died, and eventually, my mother gave it to me because I was similar in build to my grandmother. (Short and fluffy.)
Fake fur coats were in fashion back then. Also, I liked this one. It reminded me of my grandmother. Also, it was better made than the fake fur coats I’d owned before. So I had no compunction about wearing it in public. Or even wearing it to work.
So I was leaving work — late as usual.
So I held the door for my coworker. I usually liked this coworker. But then, as I’m holding the door open for her, she turns and asks, “How many animals died to make your coat?”
What? Huh? Even if you loathe the idea of fur coats, is that the time and place to ask this?
